Nothing Ever Goes According to Plan

              One would expect that graduating from high school is something that is bound to be fun and planned out. It is something that you look forward to from the very first day you walk into school. When you enter through the gates into the high school for the very first time you think about the day in which you will be able to graduate. I myself walked through the front doors of my high school having this very same thought. However, something that I have learned throughout my short life is that nothing ever goes according to plan. Even if you have your entire life planned out perfectly in a straight line, you will never walk that line as you first intended. As I tried hard to look back into my past, and think about something that had affected me in profound ways, in all honesty I could not think of a single event. But then I asked myself, “What has happened to me that has changed who I am, how I approach things, and how I deal with the problems that are right in front of me." After this question, my mind could only jump to one single event. The day I had to decide to leave high school for ever.

                I started my senior year in high school rather normally. One of the mistakes that I did up until then was evident to me during the beginning of that year. My friends had always been older and grades above me. So when I began my last year of high school most of those friends whom I had were gone, and I was left behind to graduate. It was not a big problem as I made more friends throughout the year. My classes were not exciting or interesting to me. I had already taken all the classes that I was required to take. So all I would do was go into the dull and boring classroom, sit in that blue chair that was always quite uncomfortable. I would stare at the seemingly new desk and notice the little drawing's people in the periods before me had drawn onto its top. I would also add to the wonderful collage of bored student drawings.  However, this had a negative effect on me; I lost interest in my classes and would stop going; I would instead go somewhere else than go to my classes that seemed irrelevant to me. I would much rather go to the beach and simply sit down by the waves with my phone in hand, and earphones plugged in. I would just relax and have some peace from any other events in my life that would be occurring. Since I still had pretty good grades in my classes I never thought I missed my classes as much as I would soon realize. Even so, I just kept this new habit that I had picked up and enjoyed high school. I still enjoyed seeing friends every day, hanging out, and doing what high school kids do, which is to have fun and enjoy the time we have.

‘I opened the mailbox and grasped the letters inside, brought them out and began to sort through them to see what had arrived. One letter stood out to me. It was from my high school. I opened it and read thoroughly’ “Your son Juan Carlos Vazquez has failed to attend class or classes on time and is in danger of being SARBED this is his last and final warning” When I saw this card, I showed it to my mom. I really did not understand what it meant by my last and final warning, this was the first time I had ever heard of this. My mom was understandably mad at me for supposedly not attending class. Nevertheless, she called my school and received an appointment for the next day. The following day came, and I walked to the office as I knew my mom would be arriving soon. My mom was on schedule waiting for me inside the unfailingly cold front office, always so quiet that if a paper clip were  to fall you could hear it hitting the floor and making its click clack sound. She was not really mad at me; she just wanted to know what exactly would happen and what we could do about it. We entered the quite plain office of the new counselor/school psychiatrist. I had never seen her before so we did the ritual greetings of handshakes and hellos. After that we got right into the point. She explained to us that since I had been absent and late too many times this year, they had accumulated up, and I had been warned various times before. At that time, I did recall this other letter that had arrived home that stated my tardiness but I never really put any attention to it. She continued with explaining that even though I had at no time been in any trouble, no detentions, suspensions, calls to the office, or anything. I could still be very much be affected by this just like anyone else who was a “trouble maker." My mom asked what the consequence of this was, she responded by telling her that I could not be able to graduate, and that they could be greatly fined for every time I was late. The next question that my mom asked was on how I could fix that problem, “there is only one way” she responded. She explained that it required me on getting 100% attendance for the rest of the year. This meant I could not be tardy or absent one more time or else there would be dire consequences. All I could think of while listening to this conversation was how greatly I had messed up if this was to become true.

                “What has been bothering you?" “Why are you not attending your classes on time?” these were a couple of questions that she began to ask to me, while my mom would repeat those same questions in an attempt to see what was going on. However, the problem as I told them was that nothing really was bothering me. I lost the enthusiasm I had throughout my past years I told them. I tried to explain how hard I had worked the previous years and completed everything for nothing; this year was the same stuff over again. They sat there and listened as I tried to get them to understand, I never wanted this to happen and even though as persistently as I know I would try to get to every single class on time for the rest of the year. It was too hard for anyone, including me to accomplish without having something go wrong.

                “Why are you here?” I was pushed back when I heard this question. What did she mean why I was here? “Obviously, to go to school” I thought to myself. I asked her what she meant by that question, and she then followed by telling me that I was done. I had finished my requirements and done more by the end of my junior year. “I’m done”? I waveringly asked, “Yes you have been done for quite a while” she said. I knew I was close but had no idea I was already done. She proceeded to tell my mom that she now understood why I had lost interest, she continued to explain that because I had previously done everything and much more I had lost that push which I had all the years. She emphasized to me that I was done; I could graduate at that exact moment and be done with high school forever. After all is this not what everyone wants? I did want it, but now that I had an option and opportunity at a hand's grasp; I really did not want to take it. I just sat there and thought about what she had told me. Two minutes passed and all the while so many things went rushing into my head. So many questions I asked myself, so much confusion and conflict. I was on the verge of tearing up; it was something that had caused a global war inside of my own head. First off, I really did not know what I want.  On one side yes everyone, including me wants to be done with high school but on the other hand, I did not want to leave because I never had planned for it. When would I ever be able to go through the high school experience?

                After those two minutes of basic self-nuclear war, we talked. I still did not know what I was going to do. But then I told myself that I knew which choice was the obvious one that I had to take. I could not stay there and risk something to go wrong. Deep down, in my head, knew what must be done, I had to graduate early. I was left alone with my mom for a couple of minutes to talk about it, she told me, “This is your decision; you must do what you think is best for you” After she told me this I had laid down my decision in stone within me. So I told her that I must graduate early because it is the clear choice that I must take. At the same time, I told her that I could certainly stay, and I would try my very best not to miss any class or be late, but it was too high of a risk to take. The counselor came back inside the office and I, and my mom informed her of my decision. Thinking it was the best choice and a good one for me, she spoke of how she approved of my decision. We filled out paper work later that day to finish the official side of my decision. I walked outside through those very same gates I passed my first day of school the difference was I had graduated.

                For the following few weeks, I was upset of how these events had unfolded. I entered school one day and came out graduating that very same day. It was never planned; it was just the first day I had to decide on a major event in my life. All I had to do after that day was to start college and wait for the day for me to walk the line and join my friends and family in celebrating my graduation. Looking back at it all now. That day changed me, I became greatly more responsible of myself. No longer was I just a kid waiting for others to decide things for me. I had to take my life by the helm and take control of it. Not for a moment did I know how much one single event can transform who you are, or how you act. Never did I think this day would change how I come to deal with problems that come and turn my life upside down. One last question that I was asked that day by the counselor still roams my mind and receives much thought from me. “How do you feel now that you made this decision?” I constantly ask myself this question after I have just finished deciding on something important.  I know I have done my very best into reaching whatever it is I have come to decide upon, so I always know exactly what to respond. “I feel great”